Joke of the Day - Painless Birth

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

Today's Joke - Bosses versus Workers

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Recipe - Sea urchin Flan

Ingredients:

For The Flan
112g - sea urchin roe
8 - sea urchins, roe and shells reserved separately
8 - eggs
375ml - heavy cream
375ml - milk
salt and pepper to taste
8 - hollow sea urchin shells

For The Clam Stew
84g - sea urchin roe
112g - unsalted butter
250ml - crab stock
12 - clams, steamed and meat reserved
1tsp - fresh minced chervil
salt, pepper and lemon juice to taste

For plating
sea salt
seaweed
whole star anise
chive oil
sea urchin
roeoscietra caviar
crushed red pepper
minced chives

Preparation

For the Sea Urchin Flan
In the bowl of a food processor, combine the sea urchin roe and eight individual sea urchin roe. Purée until smooth. Transfer to a bowl and set aside. Rinse the shells under cold water and reserve. In a large bowl, combine the puréed sea urchin roe, eggs, heavy cream and milk. Whisk until well combined and season. Arrange the sea urchin shells in a deep baking pan and fill with the flan mix. In a large baking pan over medium heat, arrange the shells and enough water to come halfway up the sides and maintain at a simmer until the flan is set. Remove from the heat and reserve, keeping warm.

For the Clam Stew
In the bowl of a small food processor fitted with the metal blade attachment, purée the sea urchin roe and butter until well combined. Transfer to a small bowl and set aside in the refrigerator until well chilled. In a medium saucepan, bring the crab stock to a simmer, add the chilled sea urchin butter, and using a hand-held mixer, blend until well combined. Add the clams and chervil, stir to combine and season. Spoon the clam stew on top of the sea urchin flan and reserve, keeping warm.

To serve
Spoon sea salt onto a plate and decorate with seaweed and star anise. Set two sea urchin shells on the plate and drizzle chive oil on top. Set some sea urchin roe over the flan, top with caviar, and sprinkle with crushed red pepper and chives.

Today's Joke - Mark the Spot

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught hirty fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"

Today's Joke - Borrowed the Car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime.

To their amazement, the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late.

They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic.

And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"

Recipe - Crispy Kangkong

Ingredients:

1 bundle of kangkong
1 egg (beaten)
1 cup cold water
½ teaspoon salt (asin)
¼ teaspoon pepper (paminta)
1 ½ cup cornstarch
½ cup all-purpose flour
cooking oil

Cooking Procedure:

1) Remove the kangkong leaves. Wash in water and dry. Use the stems in other recipes (e.g. sinigang).

2) Mix the egg, water, cornstarch, flour, salt and pepper in a bowl.

3) Add the kangkong leaves and mix until all the leaves are coated with the batter.

4) Heat cooking oil in a pan. Fry the leaves until crispy and golden brown.

5) Strain the cooked pieces for excess oil.

Note: An alternative to kangkong is spinach which is gaining popularity in most of the Filipino specialty restaurants as an appetizer. Dip in mayonnaise.